Friday, March 29, 2013

Why do People Change after Marriage?


I always tend to here this from Husbands and Wives "You have changed so much after marriage" or "you are not same person whom I met before marriage". Well most of the times the statements are true and I keep wondering what is that about marriage which forces people to change.

So let's start by listing out the major changes that marriage brings in the lives of the couple and may be this information can lead to the causes for people transforming after marriage.

1. Sharing of living space
2. Sharing of money earned
3. Sharing of ambitions in life
4. Sharing of each other extended families

So basically what happens is instead having your own living space, money, goals and families, we have share all these with our partners after marriage.

But does sharing all these things really cause so much change in peoples behavior?

Do we really share everything with our spouse or we just give them access into our life with a lot of conditions attached?

Are we really and completely open minded that we allow our partners an unrestricted and no holds barred access to our life?

The answer is we are not.

In the Honeymoon period we are eager and excited to share each others space, love and opinions with an open mind. We tend to share all the good looking, sweet smelling aspects of ourselves initially with much enthusiasm, but as when the reserves of these sweet things gets exhausted we become confused. We start looking for more good stuff in our closet and after some time there will be nothing new to share. As time roles on all the things that where wonderful, sweet, cute and sexy in our partner tends to be taken for granted. It becomes a every day routine, it looses it's freshness and our partner looses their mystic.

With marriage there is no more need to impress each other as there is no more uncertainty and insecurity in the relationship. So we tend to take each other for granted and from this point on the game reaches the next stage.

Till now we have experienced the best the other person can offer, now it's time to make them give us what we want. When the relationship is new we accept our partners exactly as they were but when we start taking them for granted we expect them to be the way we want them to be. So we try to impose our image of a perfect wife/husband on our partners. We ask each other to dress in certain way, to talk in a certain way, to behave in a manner which we thing is appropriate. Whatever we thought was sexy in our partner before marriage tends to become boring and inappropriate, whatever we thought was adventurous behavior becomes silly and childish. Slowly we start to impose ourselves on each other and start changing each other into objects which fulfill over desires and fantasies.

Over time Husband and Wife looses their individuality and turn each other to mere objects. Wife becomes an object to fulfill husband's need of sex, she becomes a nanny, a babysitter, a caretaker and also a source of good income, she very rarely is treated as a beloved, a friend or as a lover. The is true for the husband also.

The two individuals who loved each other and decided to share each others lives, turn each other into mere objects. One day when we just pause and look, we realize that the person with whom I lived for so many years is not the same person whom I married. Then we ask him/her

"You have changed so much after marriage, you are not same person whom I met before marriage".

So why did our partner changed so much after marriage, because we wanted and forced them to.

JKS




Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Life keeps Changing, Don't Get Stuck in the Past




There is a famous story as told by Osho:

There were two temples in Japan, both enemies to each other, as temples have always been down the ages. The priests were so antagonistic that they had stopped even looking at each other. If they came across each other on the road, they would not look at each other. If they came across each other on the road they stopped talking; for centuries those two temples and their priests had not talked.

But both the priests had two small boys -- to serve them, just for running errands. Both the priests were afraid that boys, after all, will be boys, and they might start becoming friends to each other.

The one priest said to his boy, "Remember, the other temple is our enemy. Never talk to the boy of the other temple! They are dangerous people -- avoid them as one avoids a disease, as one avoids the plague. Avoid them!" The boy was always interested, because he used to get tired of listening to great sermons -- he could not understand them. Strange scriptures were read, he could not understand the language. Great, ultimate problems were discussed. There was nobody to play with, nobody even to talk with. And when he was told, "Don't talk to the boy of the other temple," great temptation arose in him. That's how temptation arises.

That day he could not avoid talking to the other boy. When he saw him on the road he asked him, "Where are you going?"

The other boy was a little philosophical; listening to great philosophy he had become philosophical. He said, "Going? There is nobody who comes and goes! It is happening -- wherever the wind takes me...." He had heard the master say many times that that's how a buddha lives, like a dead leaf: wherever the wind takes it, it goes. So the boy said, "I am not! There is no doer. So how can I go? What nonsense are you talking? I am a dead leaf. Wherever the wind takes me...."



The other boy was struck dumb. He could not even answer. He could not find anything to say. He was really embarrassed, ashamed, and felt also, "My master was right not to talk with these people -- these are dangerous people! What kind of talk is this? I had asked a simple question: 'Where are you going?' In fact I already knew where he was going, because we were both going to purchase vegetables in the market. A simple answer would have done."

He went back, told his master, "I am sorry, excuse me. You HAD prohibited me, I didn't listen to you. In fact, because of your prohibition I was tempted. This is the first time I have talked to those dangerous people. I just asked a simple question. 'Where are you going?' and he started saying strange things: 'There is no going, no coming. Who comes? Who goes? I am utter emptiness,' he was saying, 'just a dead leaf in the wind. And wherever the wind takes me....'"

The master said, "I told you before! Now, tomorrow stand in the same place and when he comes ask him again, 'Where are you going?' And when he says these things, you simply say, 'That's true. Yes, you are a dead leaf, so am I. But when the wind is not blowing, where are you going? Then where can you go?' Just say that, and that will embarrass him -- and he has to be embarrassed, he has to be defeated. We have been constantly quarreling, and those people have not been able to defeat us in any debate. So tomorrow it has to be done!"

Early the boy got up, prepared his answer, repeated it many times before he went. Then he stood in the place where the boy used to cross the road, repeated again and again, prepared himself, and then he saw the boy coming. He said, "Okay, now!"

The boy came. He asked, "Where are you going?" And he was hoping that now the opportunity would come....

But the boy said, "Wherever the legs will take me...." No mention of wind! No talk of nothingness! No question of the non doer! Now what to do? His whole ready-made answer looked absurd. Now to talk about the wind would be irrelevant.

Again crestfallen, now REALLY ashamed that he was simply stupid: "And this boy certainly knows some strange things -- now he says, 'Wherever the legs take me....'"

He went back to the master. The master said, "I have told you NOT to talk with those people -- they are dangerous! This is our centuries-long experience. But now something has to be done. So tomorrow you ask again, 'Where are you going?' and when he says, 'Wherever my legs take me,' tell him, 'If you had no legs, then...?' He has to be silenced one way or other!"

So the next day he asked again, "Where are you going?" and waited.

And the boy said, "I am going to the market to fetch vegetables."

Man ordinarily functions out of the past, and life goes on changing. Life has no obligation to fit with your conclusions. That's why life is very confusing -- confusing to the knowledgeable person. He has all ready-made answers: The Bhagavadgita, the holy Koran, the Bible, the Vedas. He has everything crammed, he knows all the answers. But life never raises the same question again; hence the knowledgeable person always falls short.

Enjoy other interesting Stories told by Osho HERE!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

What Is a Desire?



For all the people who are on the spiritual path and who wants to reach final goal of realizing the Ultimate Truth, Desire is the arch enemy. It is the quintessential aspect of ones self which every one tries to conquer or destroy. We have tried to starve it with non desiring practices, we tried to blast it with Kriyas, Pranayams and Kundalini yoga, we have tried every trick in  the books and even online yogic-net. In the end most of us end up flat on our faces tired and exhausted.

Why don't we just pause for a moment and understand what exactly this DESIRE is ? What causes the creation of it? What is the fuel behind it? What are its characteristics?

Once we can understand Desires way of functioning we will be in a better position to deal with it. I am hereby jotting down my understanding of Desire's characteristics and functioning. What is written down is based on my experiences and understanding, any body can agree or disagree with my observations. If you want to add to what are listed below, please feel free to do so.

1. Desire is a tool for survival

Nature has made provisions in our system so that human survival continues and Desire is one of them. What ever action we take to survive comes out of our desires. Our Desire to survive is the greatest of all desires. It is in us right from the moment of Birth and will guide us through out our lives. Almost 90% of our actions everyday is to fulfill this Desire to survive. We eat, drink, go to office and reproduce to fulfill this Desire.

The struggle starts only when we want go against it and the whole path of spirituality is to annihilate and dissolve ourselves, which is exactly the opposite of survival. Unless and until our desire to vaporize and become one with nature is dominating, our Desire for survival will guide us and will be the only option which we will follow.

2. Desires are on many levels

Desires can be on the levels of Body, Mind, Emotion and Energy.
Desires on physical level will lead to actions like eating, grooming, excretion, sex and other bodily functions. These are the basic desires which takes care of the functionality, health and survival of our body.
Desires on the level of Mind, leads to thoughts, ideas, plans etc., It leads us to do and achieve various things in our life. Our desire to be a leader, to be famous, to achieve a goal in life are some examples of the Mind level desires. (To know more about how Mind works see the article on Characteristics of The Mind)
Emotional desires are the need to be loved  and to be cared. The whole dating industry runs on these desires.
The greatest of the all desires is to get Enlightened, to become God. This is on the energy level which most of us have not experienced. We mat think about enlightenment and stuff but most of us or on the level of mind and emotions and have not experienced the energy level desire to dissolve.

3. Unconscious desire is Pre-programmed

Most of our desires are repetitive and programmed. For example once the clock strikes 1.00 Pm we get the desire to have lunch, once we see a sexy girl or a man we get the desire to posses her/him, we see a deliciously good looking Ice Cream our mouth starts watering and we start desiring to grab it. These are all desires which happens when we are not conscious of ourselves, our thought process or our physical cravings. This stimuli - reaction processes gets programmed our some periods and the more we perform the  actions unconsciously the more stronger and deeper the desires become.

If we can maintain a distance and observe ourselves, we slowly realize how Zombie like we do our actions without any consciousness and discretion.The more we observe the more we get to know about the whole Desire system.

4. Unconsciousness is the fuel for Desire's strength

The only way we can break the whole Desire factory is to become more and more conscious  The more unconscious we are about our action, our thoughts and our emotions, the stronger our desires become. Our Desires feeds on our unconsciousness and getting conscious of ourselves is the only way to break this Desire system.

5. Desires cannot be destroyed

We can try our whole life, but we will never be able to stop or destroy all our desires. Desires are necessary to survive. If we don't have the desire to eat, to drink we will just die. So there is no point of fighting with them. The best approach to win over Desires to become completely conscious of our desires and keep them at distance. Consciousness weakens our desires. Eventually desires will no more have control on us, instead we fulfill them at our discretion that out of compulsion.

So I wish all the best to my fellow seekers in the Journey of Understanding Ourselves and Finding Freedom.

JKS

To know more about our Habits and how to break them. Please see How to Break Habits and find Freedom?



Thursday, March 21, 2013

This World is Just a Overnight Stay



A enlightening story told by Osho.



One night in Baghdad, the king heard somebody walking on the roof of his palace. He shouted, "Who is there? And what are you doing there?"

The man was not a thief. Without any fear he said, "Don't shout, that may disturb other people's sleep. It is none of your business. I am looking for my camel. My camel is lost and it is time for you to go to sleep."

The king could not believe what kind of madman could be on the roof of a palace searching for his camel. He called the guards and they searched all over the place but could not find the man. And the next day when he was sitting in his court he heard the same voice again; he recognized it.

The king immediately said, "Bring that man in," because he was arguing with the guard in front of the gate that he wanted to stay in the caravanserai.

And the guard said, "You will be getting into problems unnecessarily. This is the palace of the king; this is not a caravanserai."

The man said, "I know it is a caravanserai and you are just a guard. Don't bother me. Just let me go in. I want to discuss the matter with the king himself. If I can convince him that this is a caravanserai then I will stay. If he can convince me it is not a caravanserai, then of course I will leave. But I won't listen to you; you are just a guard."

And just at that moment the message came from inside, "Don't stop that man. We are in search of him; bring him in."

The Sufi mystic was called in and the king said, "You seem to be a very strange fellow. I recognize your voice. You were the man on the roof searching for your camel and now you are calling my place, my home, a caravanserai."

The man laughed and said, "You seem to be a man of some understanding. It is possible to talk with you. Yes, it was me who was looking for the camel on the roof of the palace. Don't think that I'm insane. If you can look for blissfulness sitting on a golden throne, if you can look for God while continuously conquering and butchering and burning living human beings, what is wrong in searching for a camel on the roof of the palace? You tell me!

"If I am inconsistent you are also not consistent. And what right have you got to call this place your home, because I have been here before and on the same golden throne I have seen another man sitting. He looked just like you -- a little older."

The king said, "He was my father. Now he's dead." And the mystic said, "I was here even before that and I found another man. He also looked a little bit like you but very old." The king said, "You are right, he was my grandfather." And the mystic said, "What happened to him?" The king said, "He is dead."

And the mystic said, "When are you going to die? They also believed that this is their home. I have argued with your grandfather. Now the poor fellow is in the grave. I have argued with your father; that poor fellow is also in the grave. Now I am arguing with you and someday I will come back again and I will be arguing with your son and you will be in a grave. So what kind of home is this wherepeople go on changing? It is a caravanserai. It is just an overnight stay, and then one has to go."

The king was shocked but was silent. The whole court was silent. The man was right. And the mystic finally said, "If you really want to know where your home is, go to the graveyard where finally you will have to settle, where your grandfather is, where your father is. That is the real place that you can call your home, but not this palace. Here I am going to stay as if it is a caravanserai."

The king was certainly not an ordinary man. He stood up and told the mystic, "Forgive me, I was wrong. You are right. You can stay as long as you want. I am going in search of my real home. This is not my real home."
This world is only a caravanserai.

Enjoy other interesting Stories told by Osho HERE!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

What are My Wife's Expectations



After 4 years of marriage I keep asking myself this question a lot. What is it that my Wife wants from me.

In the first year the journey was unbelievably smooth. Believe it or not we never had an argument, there was not even a single skirmish. This spotless record lasted for a full 1 year until the newest member of our family entered into our lives. Our child was welcomed with great joy and love from the entire family.

We as a couple never had time to think about anything else other than our son. Things started to change when his late night and loud awakenings started. We got to know what the power of a crying baby really is, it was touching us at all levels. The stress and anxiety were boiling to a peak and his consistent late night timing was adding fuel to the fire. It took a toll on us and more so on my wife. As she was the one who was with him 24/7 the impact was very high on her.

This was the situation in which our first arguments started. She used to get angry no matter what I did or not do. I was immature and was doing my best to add further heat to the situation, instead of understanding her situation I was more interested in defending myself and pointing fingers at her. The situation got worse day by day and one day it peaked to a point of almost a total breakdown, were we felt as if talking to each other was a total waste of time.

That night I was forced to reflect on what has happened and how can an absolute joyful relationship can turn into a hopeless one in a matter of few months. I made the usual excuse of our child playing the part in this whole scenario but on further contemplation I realized that he might have been the trigger point, the matchstick but the actual fuel was inside both of us. I thought of a lot of reasons for why this deterioration of the relationship should happen and the end of it I could not get any answers. Finally I decided that, it's me who have to take the responsibility and analyse what makes me and my wife get angry on each other and what exactly do we expect from each other.

I started to work on my patience and started observing her behavior a lot. After almost three years of observation and study I think I have made a cut  and am able take a peek into her mind.

These are the things I was able to derive what she expects from me.

1. Complete wholehearted attention
Talking to her while watching TV or working on the computer makes her go mad. She wants me to be with her both physically and mentally even if it is for a short period. This I learnt the hard way after facing her wrath on many occasions.

2. Spend quality time with her and my son
She expects me to be with her and play with my son everyday. She doesn't care on how much time I spend with her, but on how much I was involved with her. It's the quality and not quantity that matters here.

3. Do not compare
This is a no brainer. Nobody likes to be compared with anybody else, it's the same with her.

4. Do not tell her how to do things
She likes her style of doing things and doesn't like me interfering in her work. The rule is not to give advice unless and until it is asked for.

5. Don't discourage her
She expects me to support her in whatever she does. But I have other opinions, the least she expects is not to discourage her. So I just let her know that I am not supporting her in that scenario and I just let her go ahead in whatever she wants to do. Sometime she fails, when it happens I make sure I am there for her move on. We don'y like to talk much on each others failures. We just move on.

These expectations looks simple on paper but takes a lot determination to follow in real life. Most of the time my ego and my instinct of belittling her take over and I falter. By day by day things are improving and peace is settling in the relationship.

Our relationship is not perfect but I am sure that by understanding my wife's expectations of me I can avoid the bumps and path-holes of our lives and make the journey a lot more joyful, happier and enjoyable.

JKS

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Just Be Natural





A beautiful story as told by Osho.

There is a very famous story about Judo: There was a famous swordsman. There was no one equal to him in all Japan. One night, he was returning home at about 2 A.M. As he entered his room, he saw a rat come out of his hole, and sit on his bed. He was very angry. He tried to frighten him away but the rat did not move. The swordsman was puzzled. He could frighten away the strongest of men and this rat – ? He was now very angry. He picked up a toy-sword with which his daughter used to play and hit the rat hard. The rat moved barely an inch. But he had dealt the blow in such anger that the sword fell down and broke into pieces. The rat sat silent in his place. Now the man was disturbed and a little frightened himself. The rat did not seem to be an ordinary rat. He had never missed a blow – he could not imagine how he missed this?

He went and fetched his own sword. Now if a person brings a real sword to kill a rat, his defeat is certain. A warrior bringing a sword to kill a rat! He is now afraid of the rat. It seems an uncommon rodent! His hands began to tremble. Now he feared if the real sword broke there would be no way of redressing the insult and infamy. So he hit very cautiously. It is a known fact that a blow dealt cautiously, always misses the target. The very fact that you are cautious, shows that there is fear within. If there is no fear within, a man is never cautious. He acts and the work is done. He had wielded a sword many times in his life but today as he brought it down on the rat, his hand trembled. The sword fell from his hand and broke into pieces. The rat moved just a little bit. The man was confounded – he lost his senses.



The story goes on, that he made it known in the town that if anyone had a clever cat, he should bring it to him. The wealthiest man of the town brought his cat the next day. She was an expert rat-killer. But the swordsman was frightened and so was the owner of the cat when he heard the full story. If the greatest swordsman broke his sword over him, and he was not stirred, what chance did the cat have? The cat also got wind of it. She too was frightened. All night she lay awake making various plans to kill the rat. At times she wondered why all this preparations. Rats run away at sight of her! But then she said to herself, ”This rat is uncommon. I might as well be prepared.” The next morning she came and stood at the entrance of the room. She looked in and saw the rat. She trembled at the sight – there was the rat still and silent and the swordsman’s sword lying in pieces! Now to her consternation, instead of she advancing, the rat advanced. She could never have anticipated such a move – and that too from a rat! She quickly ran out!

Now the swordsman was really frightened. He sent a request to the king to send the palace-cat. Now this cat was the best cat in town. Before leaving the palace she told the king, ”Are you not ashamed to send me to kill an ordinary mouse? I am not an ordinary cat!” The fact is, she too had heard that the rat was no ordinary rat so in the order to dissuade the king from sending her, she was trying this trick. The king said, ”It is no ordinary rat and it is I who am afraid whether you will return alive.” The cat was taken to the swordsman’s house. She pounced on the rat with all her might; but she missed the rat and her head struck against the wall. She went back to the palace with blood streaming down her head. The rat sat still where he was.

Now in that town there was a fakir. He had a cat that was the master of all cats. The palace cat recommended that this master-cat’s services should be employed. Perhaps she would have a method of tackling this rat. The master-cat was called. All the cats of the town gathered to see what would happen. It was going to be a decisive game. If the cat lost, the cats will forever lose against rats.

Now the rat was where he was. The fakir’s cat entered the room. All the other cats began to advise her what she should do. The fakir’s cat shouted at them and said, ”You foolish things – making plans to kill a rat! The very fact that you plan, shows that you are frightened. After all, he is merely a rat – I’ll catch him! There is no need for any method. To be a cat is the very art of catching a rat.” The swordsman also warned her that it was no ordinary rat. He said if she failed, he would have to leave his house forever. The cat said, ”What is so great about this rat? Please keep your calm!”

The cat went in, caught the mouse and brought it out! All the cats gathered round her to know how she had done it? The cat replied, ”The fact that I am a cat, was enough. I am a cat and he is a rat and the rat always co-operates with the cat for the cats have always caught them. This is our nature – I am a cat and he is a rat. I will catch and he will be caught. You all made plans and hence you lost for you brought your intellect in-between.”

Enjoy other interesting Stories told by Osho HERE!


Monday, March 18, 2013

Characteristics of The Mind



I always used to think that whatever ideas, thoughts and emotions I get are generated by me willingly. If I got a new approach to do a particular work, I believed that approach was generated by me consciously. I believed I was  generating my anger, my happiness, my joy and my disappointment. I believed I was the one who created all the content in this blog of mine.

As I keep doing my practice of yoga and meditations day by day the perception of me keeps changing. One sitting of Shoonya Meditation (for more details please check  http://www.ishayoga.org/advanced-programs/shoonya-intensive) made me realize that my Mind is like huge database of all the impressions that I had gathered throughout my life and what I call as "I" (which is not yet clear) only has the option to chose from this vast database. My mind is like a non-stop machine which keeps on churning out impressions from my life's database based on various factors in present situation that I am in.

Every day I sit for Shoonya various aspects of my mind comes into my consciousness. So far the picture is not clear and keeps evolving every day. I am now listing out the characteristics of my Mind which I have been able to understand. Please note that the characteristics which I am talking about is of the conscious mind which I am able to understand on a daily basis, I am not talking about the Unconscious, Super Conscious or the Super Duper Conscious ones.

1. It is the largest database


Whatever we experience in life whether it's on mental and emotional level will be recorded in our minds. It's like a 24/7 infinite data recorder which keeps on recording every thing that makes an impression  on us. It does not discriminate on what kind of data it records and what source the data comes from.

2. Our five senses are the input points 


The input points for our mind are our five senses which are Touch (Skin), Taste (Tongue), Smell (Nose), Sight (Eyes) and Sound (Ears). Whatever impressions that we have in our life, all of them have entered into us through these five channels and no where else. The raw data from these channels are later converted to things like Thoughts, Dreams, Ideas and Opinions.

3. It does not have anything beyond what we have experienced in our life


All our thoughts, dreams, opinions, ideas and actions comes out of the Mind's database. We don't do anything out of the boundary of our mind. No action of ours is done beyond this boundary,  no thought comes to us from any other source than our Mind.

4. It can never be still


Our mind doesn't know anything called stillness. It derives it's energy from movement. The faster our minds move the stronger it becomes. It becomes very difficult to control a fast wavering mind. Our anxiety, disappointments and stress is entirely due this non focused and uncontrollable movement of our mind. 

We can easily observe this phenomenon. If we just observe our thought patterns when we are on holiday just chilling, we will be able to see that it will be in relaxed and easy state. If we do the same when we are trying busy meeting deadlines in office, it will appear as if our mind is on steroids churning thoughts after thoughts at unbelievable speed.

5. Future is only a projection of past 


As our mind cannot think anything beyond it's boundary, whatever we project as our future it will be always in the garb of our past. We are incapable of thinking anything beyond what we have experienced before, so our vision of future will be like taking the doll of our past and dressing it different way. In the end it will still be our past, but in a different attire.

6. It can be programmed and re-programmed


So is our Mind a big, glorified and dumb CPU? Well it depends on you.
Mind is a tool with certain characteristics. The biggest characteristic of it is learning and self programming. It keeps on learning from diffident life experiences that we have and form patterns of behavior  For example if example if we kick a football with a certain force and with certain angle of our feet, the mind will watch the path of the ball and if the same result is repeated often with the same effort, it will form a pattern of the way the ball was kicked to the way the ball went on. Then every time when want the ball to go in this way our mind will automatically offer this pattern of kicking for us to use.

Like this our mind keeps learning from new experiences and programs various patterns which can be used in different situations. The quality and usefulness of it depends upon the life experiences which we allow to enter into it. The experiences makes database, the database makes the patterns and the patterns yields in our actions. So if we want to change our actions, we need to change the experience which are exposing ourselves to.
The good news is that these patterns can be Re-Programmed as mentioned next.

7. We always have a choice


So do we have choice in deciding how our mind should function, to tell it what to do and how to do it?

YES WE DO!

We can do it with by bringing more consciousness into our mind's functioning. If we can just pause for some time, relax and observe, we will be able to see how this machine works bit by bit. The further we observe the more it will revel. By observing our mind consistently we will be able to know the intricacies of it's workings in detail and the strings which control it. Slowly we will feel a distance from our thoughts and opinions, we will be able to choose which one to use according to the situation rather than taking action in compulsion to what our mind shells out.

This observation will free us and will eventually make us the Masters of the world's greatest machine.

So let the journey towards self discovery and total freedom begin!

JKS

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Are We Ever Satisfied ?


A beautiful story as told by Osho:



In the UPANISHADS there is an ancient story that I have always loved. A great king named Yayati became one hundred years old. Now it was enough; he had lived tremendously. He had enjoyed all that life could make available. He was one of the greatest kings of his time. But the story is beautiful ....

Death came and said to Yayati, "Get ready. It is time for you, and I have come to take you." Yayati saw Death, and he was a great warrior and he had won many wars. Yayati started trembling, and said, "But it is too early." Death said, "Too early! You have been alive for one hundred years. Even your children have become old. Your eldest son is eighty years old. What more do you want?"

Yayati had one hundred sons because he had one hundred wives. He asked Death, "Can you do a favor for me? I know you have to take someone. If I can persuade one of my sons, can you leave me for one hundred years more and take one of my sons?" Death said, "That is perfectly okay if somebody else is ready to go. But I don't think .... If you are not ready, and you are the father and you have lived more and you have enjoyed everything, why should your son be ready?"

Yayati called his one hundred sons. The older sons remained silent. There was great silence, nobody was saying anything. Only one, the youngest son who was only sixteen years of age, stood up and he said, "I am ready." Even Death felt sorry for the boy and said to the young man, "Perhaps you are too innocent. Can't you see your ninety-nine brothers are absolutely silent? Someone is eighty, someone is seventy-five, someone is seventy-eight, someone is seventy, someone is sixty -- they have lived -- but they still want to live. And you have not lived at all. Even I feel sad to take you. You think again."

The boy said, "No, just seeing the situation makes me completely certain. Don't feel sad or sorry; I am going with absolute awareness. I can see that if my father is not satisfied in one hundred years, what is the point of being here? How can I be satisfied? I am seeing my ninety-nine brothers; nobody is satisfied. So why waste time? At least I can do this favor to my father. In his old age, let him enjoy one hundred years more. But I am finished. Seeing the situation that nobody is satisfied, I can understand one thing completely -- that even if I live one hundred years, I will not be satisfied either. So it doesn't matter whether I go today or after ninety years. You just take me."

Death took the boy. And after one hundred years he came back. And Yayati was in the same position. And he said, "These hundred years passed so soon. All my old sons have died, but I have another regiment. I can give you some son. Just have mercy on me."

It went on -- the story goes on to say -- for one thousand years. Ten times Death came. And nine times he took some son and Yayati lived one hundred years more. The tenth time Yayati said, "Although I am still as unsatisfied as I was when you came for the first time, now -- although unwillingly, reluctantly -- I will go, because I cannot go on asking for favors. It is too much. And one thing has become certain to me, that if one thousand years cannot help me to be contented, then even ten thousand will not do."

It is the attachment. You can go on living but as the idea of death strikes you, you will start trembling. But if you are not attached to anything, death can come this very moment and you will be in a very welcoming mood. You will be absolutely ready to go. In front of such a man, death is defeated. Death is defeated only by those who are ready to die any moment, without any reluctance. They become the immortals, they become the buddhas.

Enjoy other interesting Stories told by Osho HERE!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Experiment with Fasting


I had this desire to know what fasting does for a long time and always wanted to try it. Whenever I expressed my intention to fast, I always got warning and cautions like my body will become weak or I will have gastric problems  or I will not be able make it. This went on for a long time almost two years.

One fine day Sadhguru (also know as Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudhev, the founder of Isha Foundation, visit www.ishafoudation.org to know more) announced the Shivanga program (check this link for details http://blog.ishafoundation.org/inside-isha/announcements/shivanga-sadhana/). I being a follower and consistent practitioner of Isha Yoga was excited and wanted to know further details. There were a lot of processes which where supposed to be done by the Shivanga participants and one important part of it was fasting for the entire period of 42 days of the program. I didn't have the courage to go the full way and participate in the Shivanga program in it's entirety. But I got an excuse and reason to finally get my wish of fasting fulfilled.

My better half was convinced and the decision to fast for 42 days was taken.

The fasting was done in a particular way. The instructions to be followed were
  1. Smoking, alcohol and non-vegetarian food was to be avoided during the period. (I being a non smoker and non alcoholic all I had to give up was spicy non veg delicacies )
  2. Soak 8 to 12 peppercorns overnight with 2 tablespoons of honey, mix with lemon juice and water in the morning, and drink on an empty stomach.
  3. Only two meals a day was to be had. No food was to be taken before noon. If hungry, the pepper-honey-lemon juice can be drunk once again.
  4. Taking head bath daily.
Apart from the above instructions  I decided to have only fresh raw vegetables and fruits for my lunch and Rotis for dinner.

The initial couple of days were un-eventful. My body was getting used to the new routine and emptiness in my stomach. Hunger used to arrive right on time of my usual stomach filling periods of the day. But the hunger was not very intense, it was like a reminder to have my filling. After some days (around a week later) the hunger reminders were becoming weaker, as if it didn't had any purpose, it was just following it's old routine as it was doing for whole my life.

One thing that fasting did was to increase my my sniff dog abilities dramatically. I could smell food from a mile away :-). Where I was the smells of food was enveloping me. The places where I went through everyday without much of a thought were transformed. The scents made notice all the small food joints in those places which went unnoticed by me till now. I could just tell what was cooking just by passing by the homes and restaurants. Food was always on my mind.
It was difficult to curb the urges and move on, but luckily I did move on. After 3 weeks the obsession with food subsided and the routine fasting went smoothly. Not much restraint was required from this point on-wards

My body felt lighter day by day. It was easier to move it in, easier to put it in different postures, easier to stretch. It complained less while I was doing my Suryanamskaras and it really felt good. One side effect of this whole process which I am proud and delighted with was I lost 7 Kilos of my weight and my waist size reduced by an awesome 2 inches. My trouser which used to feel like Chinese torture on the waist, started to feel more like Goa beach holidays.

There was strange phenomenon which happened in the last week of my fasting period. When I thought the worst was over and it would be a breeze to go through the final week, things changed. The obsession with food came back, the heightened sense of smell returned and hunger remainders became more intense. What was supposed to be a walk in the park became a torturous crawl to the finish.

Now I realize that it was because of the expectations from me on all the things I would enjoy after I finish with my fasting. I started to fantasize about all the different delicacies which I would indulge in. I started to plan my completion party before the final bell rang. These expectations and desires started to wreck havoc and the final week miserable. My body and mind was craving only for one thing - FOOD.

But luckily I persevered and completed the journey successfully. It felt great to do it completely, sincerely and  intensely.

I learnt a lot on how fickle my mind is and how strongly it has become programmed. I realized that my mind either lives in the past or in the future, it never stays in the present. It either follows the things which it has been doing so far or it looks up and start working on the future expectations. It just cannot stay in the present moment and do what has to be done now at this moment.

I learnt how much my body gets effected by the food we eat. I always thought that fasting will reduce my energy levels but in reality the contrary happened. I was more lively and energetic throughout this period than most of my life. I learnt that more food doesn't always means more energy, if food is taken in moderation it produces more energy and drives away the lethargy in the system. Two meals a day is more than enough to sustain my day to day and activities and even more.

Overall these 42 days where a great learning experience and proud achievement with some awesome side effects.

So will I do it next year, ABSOLUTELY without a doubt.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Rest and Relax, NOW !



A beautiful story told by the master OSHO.

When Alexander the Great was coming to India, he met one strange man, Diogenes, on the way. Diogen es is one of the rare flowerings of human consciousness. Alexander was interested in the man; he had heard many stories about him. He was afraid to go to him. It was below him, it was against his ego. But when he was coming to India, on the way he heard that he was living just by the side of the river. Then he could not resist the temptation and he said, ”Nobody will know back home  that I had gone to see Diogenes. And I can always say that I was just passing and I met him by accident.”

He went to see Diogenes. It was a winter morning, a cool breeze was blowing, and Diogenes was lying on the river-bank, on the sand, taking a sunbath naked. He was a beautiful man. When there is a beautiful soul, a beauty arises which is not of this world – which is illogical. If Alexander looks beautiful, it is logical, remember, because he has all that you think one should have. He has power, money; he has all that one can think or imagine to have. His beauty that of possessions.

Now, here was a man lying naked, with nothing – he had nothing, not even a begging-bowl. Buddha at least had a begging-bowl. Diogenes didn't have a begging-bowl, because one day when he was walking, and going towards the river with his begging-bowl to get some water to drink, he saw a dog rushing to the river. Of course, the dog reached first, and the dog jumped in the river and drank. Diogenes laughed and he said, ”This dog has taught me a lesson. If he can live without a begging-bowl, then why can’t I?” He threw the begging-bowl, he also jumped like the dog in the river and drank. Since then he had had nothing. And this dog must have felt something for Diogenes, because they became friends; they lived together .

Alexander came. He could not believe the grace of the man. He had never seen such a graceful man, such utter beauty, something from the unknown, something illogical... because there is no reason! You cannot pin it down, where it is coming from. He was in awe and he said, ”Sir...” He had not said ”Sir” to anybody in his life. He said, ”Sir, I am immensely impressed by your being, and I would like to do something for you. Is there something that I can do for you?

Diogenes said, ”Just stand to the side because you are preventing the sun – that’s all. Nothing else do I need.”

Alexander said, ”If I have another chance to come to the earth, I will ask God, instead of making me Alexander again, to make me Diogenes.”

Diogenes laughed and he said, ”That you won’t ask for, because who is preventing you right now? You can become Diogenes. Where are you going? For months I have seen armies moving and moving – where are you going? and for what?”

And Alexander said, I am going to India to conquer the whole world.”

And then what are you going to do?” Diogenes asked.

And Alexander said, ”Then I will rest.”

And Diogenes laughed again and he said, ”You are mad – because I am resting NOW; and I have not conquered the world. I don’t see the necessity of it. If just in the end you want to rest and relax, why not now? How are they related? Who has told you that before resting, you have to conquer the world? And I tell you: if you don’t rest now, then never. You will never be able to conquer the world, because something or other will always remain to be conquered... and life is short and time is fleeting. You will die in the middle of your journey – everybody dies in the middle of the journey.”



Alexander said, ”I will keep it always in mind, but right now I cannot do it. But many many thanks for
your advice.”

And Alexander died in the middle. He never reached back home, he died on the way. When he was moving back from India, he died on the way. And that day he remembered Diogenes. Only Diogenes was in his mind – he could never rest in his life, and that man rested.

And then a strange story has been known down the ages, that Diogenes also died on the same day. And they met on the way towards God, just crossing the border river. Alexander Was ahead, a few feet ahead, when he heard somebody behind. He looked back, and he was surprised – surprised and ashamed. It was Diogenes, the same beautiful man. Alexander tried to hide his shame. He said ”So again, again we are meeting, the emperor and the beggar.”

And Diogenes said, ”That is true. But you misunderstand one thing: you don’t know who is the beggar and who is the emperor. You are the beggar, I am the emperor, because I lived my life totally, I enjoyed it. And I can go to God, I can face him. You will not be able to face him, because I can see: you cannot even face me! You are trembling, you are ashamed. You cannot look into my eyes– what will happen to you when you have to face God? your whole life has been a wastage.”            

Enjoy other interesting Stories told by Osho HERE!    

Friday, March 8, 2013

How to Break Habits and find Freedom?



Every year at end of December a huge amount of talk and thought goes around us on the most simple and toughest thing to follow "The New Year Resolution". We have been making a whole lot of New Year Resolutions and breaking almost all of them year on year. This has become a yearly phenomenon and will continue so.

I always used think "Why is it so difficult for me to keep my new year resolution?" and every time I get the same excuses of not having enough time, not having enough money or not having enough support etc...
When I analysed this yearly routine of making and eventually braking resolutions, I realized that every year my resolutions have been to either change my old habits which I thought was not on par with my expectations or to create a new one. On further contemplation the realization hit me is that changing old habits is not something which happens in a day, it is a long and tedious process.

So I set on my journey to discover what exactly an habit is, how does one cultivate it and what are its characteristics. What I found out so far is:

1. Habit start like any other activity
Any activity that we do in our day to day life can be turned into an habit if it's repeated for a long period of time. Initially when we start a activity, like learning a Bicycle, we tend to concentrate on every aspect and movement of our body. As we keep practicing and repeating this activity our body gets into an Auto Pilot mode and keeps doing it without much consciousness from us. After some time this happens even without our consciousness, now it's a full blown habit which has embedded deep inside ourselves.

2.  Habits are at various levels
Our habits can be at our body level, mind level and even our emotional level.
Any physical activity when repeated and performed over and over will become a habit for our body. Not much of mind will be involved in it. For example riding a Bicycle, playing basketball or running.
A thought process when repeated again and again will become a habit of our mind. Like if we keep on showing our kid a dark room and tell her that it's a very dangerous place, and we do it every day she will start associating dark room or darkness with dangerous. This is how various though patterns of ours starts establishing.
Similarly our emotions gets habituated when we are exposed to similar kind of situations repeatedly. Like in the above mentioned case, the child start feeling fear as soon as she sees a dark room or area.

3. It takes considerable amount of time for a habit to be established
Any habit will require repetitive involvement for a considerable amount of time for itself to go deep inside us. Habits at physical level can be established in short time like 45 days, whereas habits at mind and emotional level will take more time a minimum of 6 months.

4. Habits in Auto Pilot (Unconscious) mode
Once a habit get established it start working automatically. More established the habit more unconsciously we do it. Unconsciousness is the strength of habits, the more unconsciously we perform our activities the stronger our habits become and for difficult it will be for us to change it.

Now how to change a Habit or Create a new one.

We can simply understand the key characteristics of habits and use the same to change them. By using the above mentioned characteristics we can change or create a habit by following the below given steps.

  1. Start doing the old activity (habit) which you want to change with complete consciousness.Once consciousness enters into the habit it will loose its strength.
  2. Do this conscious activity for a minimum of 45 days(for other levels of mind and emotion it will take more time) to break the old habit.
  3. Then start establishing the new habit.
  4. Continue the new activity for a minimum  45 days(for other levels of mind and emotion it will take more time) to deeply establish the new habit.
  5. Now we have completed the cycle of breaking the old habit and creating a new one.
If we can go through this cycle successfully once we will  have a lot of freedom in choosing what kind of habits we want to let in and what we want to keep out.

By this we can find what is called real FREEDOM as we in turn will become the rulers of our body, mind and heart instead of the other way around, which is the current reality.

I wish that all of us will find true FREEDOM in our lives.

JKS